Choosing a Partner of Equal Differentiation: A New Paradigm Utilizing Similarity and Complementarity Measures
Rovers, Kocum, Briscoe-Dimock, Coffey Myers, Cotnam, Henry, Kwasniewski & Sheppard, (2007)
Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy, 6,1–23

Abstract:

This study examined Bowen’s hypothesis that people select partners of equal differentiation of self. (Bowen, 1976, 1978). Differentiation is defined as the balance of the life forces of individuation and intimacy and it permits a person to function individually and also be emotionally connected with others, and to do both simultaneously at a profound depth. For this study, equal differentiation of self is expanded to include complementarity as well as similarity of individuation and intimacy scores between partners. This study also looks at the question of the multigenerational transmission process, and hypothesizes that partners will be as intimate and individuated with their partners as they are with their parents. A third focus of the study was to examine gender differences in terms of intergenerational and spousal scores for individuation and intimacy and finally the study looked at the relationship between a couple’s level of differentiation and level of marital happiness.

Participants consisted of 81 couples, who were either engaged or married/common law, ranging in age from 22 to 72 years. Instruments used included The Personal Authority in the Family System Questionnaire (Version B) as well as the Happiness Scale from the Dyadic Adjustment Scale. (Spanier, 1976, 1999).

Results of this study lend substantial support for the hypothesis by Bowen that we choose a partner of equal differentiation of self, whether equally low or equally high level of differentiation, with the vast proportion of respondents scoring equal levels of differentiation as their partner. In terms of the intergenerational transmission hypothesis, results showed moderate support for the transmission of levels of individuation for men, however a weak link for the transmission of individuation and intimacy levels for women. In terms of gender differences, results strongly supported the hypothesis that females will have higher scores for intergenerational intimacy than males but showed that there was no difference in the spousal intimacy scores between men and women. It was also hypothesized that males would have higher levels of individuation in their spousal relationship, however results showed that females were more individuated. Several factors might have influenced this result including the higher levels of education in the female population as well as the high level of intimacy with parents among females, this supporting the theory that for women the process of individuation is different than for men and develops through a model of intimacy and connection with their parents. Finally results supported the hypothesis that there is a correlation between levels of differentiation and marital happiness, with high scores on both intimacy and individuation correlating with the greatest levels of happiness. Couple happiness was found to decrease over the length of marriage but increased again around the 20 year mark. Happiness also was highly correlated to sexual intimacy.